Marital landmines!

Have you ever walked in a mine-field fully aware that it is a mine-field, but totally oblivious to the placement of the mines?

Well those who are married would have had the opportunity of being in a situation like that though not literally. If I am allowed to compare marriage to a mine-field (just a metaphor) then following are some of the mines that one might risk stepping upon.

Is this dress ok?
When can we go to my mother's home?
Will you buy me that ... (err,,whatever...)
Who is that girl in the photo standing beside you?
Did you drink? Did you smoke?
Do you drink now? Do you smoke now?
I think I have added more salt in the curry, haven't I?

Just like in our school days when we were informed about one sure shot question that would come in our exams, the following in my opinion is a sure shot question all the husbands would have been asked by their better halves.

"I have become fat, haven't I?"

Kindly observe the pattern of the question. It's not "Have I become fat?"
but "I have become fat, haven't I?"

You can simply give a no as an answer for the first question, but for the second one you can't simply give a "no" because you are contradicting her statement that she has become fat. That itself draws an angry look from her and the mine under your two legs will go off.
But on the other hand if you answer her with an "YES" then the highly destructive C4 explosive that's tied to your chest will just go off. Don't bother to ask me why I haven't informed you about the bomb. You have more important issues at hand :-)

Recently I had to counter one such situation and by God's grace (I started to believe in God after this incident), I managed to come out of it with flying colours.

The question was "The circles under my eyes are too dark, aren't they?" It was a catch22 and amazingly I managed to say this.
"I don't know if the circles are just dark or too dark, but they certainly seem tired with all the hard work you put in since early morning. Wash your face and take a nap"

This time I managed not to step on the mine. Let's see how it goes in this endless mine-field. :-)